All your snakes are belong to us

A somewhat humorous take on a crappy movie. What you say?!

What to do in case of a terrorist attack

Helpful advice for one and all.

What does life sound like?

Have you ever wondered what the soundtrack to your life might sound like? Are there soaring crescendos of classical music or is an eclectic mix of of different styles? There are certain memories I have that, whenever I think about them, I always associate them with the same music. It's not something I consciously did--mentally attach music to those memories. For whatever reason, those memories cause me to think about the particular music and I then draw a correlation between the memory and the music. For instance, a week or two before we moved back to college senior year, we went camping. Every time I remember that night, the events seem to be set to Shine On You Crazy Diamond. Odd, I know. So, if your life did have a soundtrack, what would it be?

Your Ohio bureaucracy at work protecting you

Sometimes one just has to shake one's head and laugh at the absurdity of government. NWTF is this lady going to do?

Fatherhood

In a cabinet in the kitchen is where we keep all our spices. Half of the bottom shelf is taken up by a myriad of spices jars: nutmeg, paprika, cayenne pepper, cinnamon and so on. When one opens the cabinet door, the blended aromas of the spices wafts out. I rather love that smell. Sometimes I'll open and close the door a few times just to get hit in the face with that scent that is somehow unique every single time. Being a father, I've found, is somewhat akin to that. That may sound a little strange, but bear with me. Caedon is the same little boy who came home with us from the hospital three weeks ago and yet, he's not. I come home from work each day eager to see him and hold him. Much like the same spices can conjure a different smell each time the cabinet door is opened, every time I hold him, each time I watch him sleep or look around the room with his baby curiosity is somehow special and different than all the other times before.

He's changed in the three weeks we've had him at home. He's filled out a little and has lost some of the awkwardness that newborns have. As we move around the room, he's begun to follow us with his eyes, not necessarily recognizing us yet, but noticing the movement. His hair is getting lighter and he's much more alert and awake more often than he was even a week ago.

When I hold him, I wonder what kind of man he will become. Will I be able to be a good father and raise him in a way that is pleasing to God? Will he be a servant of Jesus? Will he be intelligent? Athletic? Ornery? Will he give us fits like Nick and I gave mom and dad? If there's any justice in the universe, then this last one is a definate yes.

Becoming a father is not some magical rite of passage that leaves one a changed individual. To be sure, life changes. There is no other relationship outside of the parent/child relationship in which one is so totally and completely dependent upon the other. Our main focus is Caedon. His needs are paramount to our own needs and desires. His sleep and his comfort are more important than our own. While becoming a father has not been an epiphany, it has made me think more about the parent/child relationship we humans have with God. We are totally dependent upon Him. Knowing the love I have for my son, I cannot even begin to fathom the depths of love God has for us. I pray that God will help me be equal to the responsibility of being a good father and role model for Caedon.

Rants

There is almost nothing that pisses me off more than MTV. It was bad enough when the major networks jumped on the Survivor bandwagon and ushered in the era of "reality" television. But MTV has one upped everyone else with the volume of mind-numbingly stupid tv shows that are offered. I had to miss the end of the Indians game tonight because Melissa had to watch the season finale of The Hills. The general summarization of this (and every other piece of crap "reality" show on MTV) could be "The Insipid, Uninteresting Lives of Several Spoiled, Pampered Rich Kids." I am befuddled as to what the fascination is with thest shows. I don't understand why normally intelligent people watch this garbage. One of the things that is so bad about these shows is that I have male friends who watch them. Yes, you read that right. Human beings with a giggle stick and berries watching these shows. It's enough to call the continued existence of the human species into question.

And speaking of the Indians, when is "next year" actually going to be? It always seems like it's a year away. We gave up Wickman for a prospect and what closer did we put in his place? A guy who doesn't seem like he could close a door, let alone a ballgame. Two outs, bottom of the ninth. No one on. Hit batsman. Hit batsman. Walk. Game winning single. Three blown saves in three chances. WTF!

Earlier tonight, we watched V For Vendetta. I was less than impressed. It smacked heavily of 1984 and had elements of other pseudo post-apocalyptic movies. I'm not saying it was as bad as Waterworld or The Postman, but it definately didn't live up to the hype.

Scum-sucking, bottom-feeding, shyster lawyers beware

Can I hear a round of applause for the courts that have handed down these decisions? It is high time that dirt nuggets like this Mauro are held accountable for their reprehensible behavior. Trying to hide his extortion threats under the umbrella of free speech is laughable.

That reminds me of a joke.

What do you call 50 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start.